Depression...

It has been 2 weeks past since i given birth to my gal Giselle...

The contraction starts on Mon 13 Apr and and about 83o am on Tue, the doc break my water bag and the real pain came in... the pain is realli so severe, it's hard to describe. I guess oni mother will understand the pain i that i am talking about...

These 2 weeks of confinement i guess caused me into depression... first the waeather is so damn hot....how i wished that it would rain... my master bedroom is not an ideal place for confinement... in the room, there is no fan and i am not allowed to have aircon initially....

frankly speaking, i can still tahan the weather a bit but is the rash on my body that trigger the whole depression thingy... i started to develop rash the 4th day i am discharge.. it got worse as it spread from my hands to my leg to my back to my chest and to my tummy area....

imagine with the hot weather and the rash which is so itchy, how to tahan... furthermore i don usually have skin problem but this make me real sad and also the stretch marks on my tummy start to become a little itchy... i am really veri sad...

everytime when i am not feeling well, i will look at my gal.. no matter how bad mood i am she will still give me that innocent look... she will not show me any face just the cute innnocent look....

I wish YH can be more tolerant.. I don wan to talk doesnt mean that i don need him to be around... he also showed me one kind of face when i am not in the good mood... come on lor... everyday i don get to see him alot cos he is always working.. i realli don understand why he still need to run errand on weekend.. isnt ur wife more important? shouldnt u show more care and concern for her? it's really depressing.. i have not been sleeping well now cos in the daytime as the weather is too bad i cant sleep, hence no rest... when it come to nighttime, as long as i hear my gal move about i will turn and see her...now i think i end up having headache liao....

he just wont understand..... i suggested that he sleeps in the other room also fear that my gal will disturb him and he has to work also and definitely need plenty of rest...

Luckily, i still have my sis who is there to always console me and talk to me.. she keep telling me to be strong cos she understands the pain and depression that i am going through....

Actually, i pity my mom who has to tolerate my bad mood everyday.. she has been veri tolerant towards me.. my dad too.... although i would complain and complain and show my bad temper, they still patiently do everything for me and my gal.. Realli thanks alot... Although i don don say anything deep down inside i realli appreciate the things that they have done for me...

Time begin i guess i realli don wan to see any vistors until the baby full month celebration... cos i realli don have the mood to entertain them and i realli don feel like seeing any one except my sis (at least she is someone that i can turn to...)